By Paul Z

I always hated August Underground, long before I saw it. You might be asking, "how could you hate something without seeing it? Isn't that a bit ignorant?" Well, the answer is simple: I knew what the "movie" was, and how it was made. I knew it consisted of two hicks running around with a camcorder from Circuit City trying to look badass, while video recording themselves engaging in immature antics. Those were the facts and all I needed to know. But why hate it for that? I'll explain a little bit later.
At a horror convention a while back, I finally bought August Underground. I knew what I was buying, I knew what to expect, and yes, I bought it even though I hated it. But why did I buy it? So I could actually see what others have been talking about and to put my justified opinion into context. I came home, watched it, and it only confirmed everything I felt and believed. AUGUST UNDERGROUND IS GARBAGE. But surprisingly, not only did it make me laugh more than it made me cringe, but it taught me any shmuck can put together a bunch of moving images, splash prop blood around, and call it a movie to gain some notoriety.

August Underground is the video all of us have made when goofing off with friends.  But before we get into the details, I'd like to bring to the table the overall pace of the video.  For the most part, it was tremendously boring. It begins with the two leads going down into the basement of a farmhouse, where there sat a bloodied and nude tied up girl who they then tormented. At first glance, you might be thinking, wow, this could be interesting. It's intense, bloody, and downright dirty. But after 5 minutes of the two leads finger painting with Karo syrup on the their victim, you begin to ask yourself, "why am I watching this?" It wasn't because it was "a car wreck" that was hard to turn away from, no, it was because it was so goddamn repetitive. To put it bluntly again, boring.

Most of the 65-minute video felt like the behind the scenes footage of some recently made shot-on-video horror flick that no one cares about.  Imagine watching an hour long behind the scenes video of a film like Scarecrows Gone Wild. Yes, it's that bad. When Fred and his friend aren't smearing wet brownie mix on their victims, they're just driving around looking to start trouble. Really, that's all there is to AU. I understand the intent to create a video that portrays the inner mechanics of a serial killer, but really, we don't discover anything about Fred Vogel and his friend's character during their rampage. It felt like I was watching two friends having fun with a camcorder and in reality, that's all it was.

When it comes down to the violence, I felt as if I was watching a bad reenactment on America's Most Wanted. At least America's Most Wanted is based on real people, real events, and used real professional actors (although their abilities might be in question). AU didn't feel real and Fred Vogel seemed like some fat kid who just wanted to impress and shock his friends with some unconvincing gore. He's a grown man, yet he makes a video that almost every preteen has made in their backyard, literally. The only difference is that the preteens who have messed around with camcorders, slopping together fake snuff were honest about what they made. They knew it was garbage and could only amount to being an inside joke between friends. I remember a few friends and myself would go into webcam chatrooms and stage murder scenes on cam just to shock people. Looking back, I realize how immature we were. But did we ever consider recording an hour of it on DVD with features? No. Why? BECAUSE ITS NOT A MOVIE! But apparently Fred Vogel thinks his hour long video clip is, and decided to sell it, not only with a 2-disc edition with an array of special features, but for 30 bucks no less!

Ironically, the DVD set was worth the money but not for the reasons Fred would like to believe. Yes, some good things came of me buying this, two good things to be exact. The first was not for the main video, but for the supplements. The main tenants of the bonus disc was an hour long "making of" documentary, and a 103 minute documentary on "an outside perspective" of the video.

As for the first documentary, it essentially interviewed everyone involved with the construction (or destruction) of AU. In other words, it was comprised of Vogel's family and friends (even his granny). It's broken up into three parts: A closer look at AU, AU on location, and Behind the Brutality. The onscreen interviews of Vogel himself were extremely annoying, in that they were littered with cuts and repetitive ramblings. Almost every sentence or thought ended in a cut or jump in the video, resulting in my total frustration. This makes you wonder whether or not Vogel had a hard time digging up some utter bullshit to say to the kids watching. Many of the other interviews were conducted in the same manner, making the "documentary" feel like an amateur high school media project. This not only informs us that Toe Tag Pictures is incapable of producing a decent documentary, but also that the interviewees had a hard time finding things to say about AU. In the interviews of himself, Vogel regards his video as an actual movie, becoming philosophical towards his intentions to make it. At one point, he mentions horror was going downhill, thus inspiring him to make something different. But at another point, he says horror was stagnant, thus, inspiring him to push it further. With so little to talk about, I can understand how he would trip over his own words in such a manner. But it wasn't so much the contradiction I focused on, but rather the claim that horror was going downhill. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Downhill? It's true, that horror has been going downhill, but after AU, not only has horror been forced to the bottom of the hill, but Vogel drove it six feet into the ground. AU is not a movie, Fred. Don't sugarcoat things. Be honest. If this is a movie, then so are the home movies of my grandparents at the zoo.

The second documentary, "An Outside Perspective," interviews individuals about their first experience viewing the video.  What I thought was interesting is that although the documentary is called "An Outside Perspective," almost everyone in the documentary was some how related to Toe Tag Pictures. So really, it was just Toe Tag Pictures and their affiliates praising themselves. What some of these people had to say in the video had me laughing nonstop. Not because they had a sense of humor, but rather their praise for the ridiculous video. After the first three or so interviewees, it once again becomes repetitive, with claims similar to, "AU is a realistic portrayal" heard over and over again.  Some individuals seem to just ramble on and on about nonsense. One notable interviewee was Nick Palumbo, the pompous asshole responsible for another atrocity of a film, Murder Set Pieces.  He goes so far as to insult Lustig's masterpiece Maniac by comparing it to AU.

But the most ridiculous claim made in the supplements comes from Vogel himself when he states he aimed to do something different. DIFFERENT?? We've had films that explored the concept like Video Violence, Devil's Experiment and Flower of Flesh and Blood that came out more than two decades before this garbage. At least Flower was poetic to a degree, as the killer explains his actions through poetry. But even better I thought was the snuff scene in the film, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. Here, the snuff scene was as long as it needed to be while getting the point across without being repetitive.  A fat kid smearing fake shit on a girl's face isnt orignal, it's just … stupid. It feels like one of those really bad video clips from a German S & M website. This is NOT original. And since we're on the topic of feces, another film worth mentioning is John Waters' Pink Flamingos, where we see Divine eat fresh dog shit. If Fred really has the balls his fans claim, I'd like to see him do the same with human feces. But will he? Probably not.

Let me teach everyone a lesson about the film industry. When all else fails, use a gimmick. When you don't encompass the talent, skill or equipment to make a real movie, divert the audience's attention from that lack of talent with a gimmick or disguise it with phrases like "artistic expression" and "realistic." A great example of this is the Blair Witch Project, another embarrassment of the horror genre that exploits these gimmicks to hide the filmmakers' inept abilities. It's kind of like when you humiliate yourself in front of friends and to evade the embarrassment, you take the Pee Wee Herman defense and say something to the nature of, "I meant to do that" (a quote from the film Pee Wee's Big Adventure). Vogel can't make a movie and he knows it, so what does he do? He doesn't make a real movie and says, "It's meant to be like that." Throughout the commentary, there are several instances where he mentions that although a scene didn't go as planned, it ended up contributing to the video's realistic look.  This claim of course, is why it's so goddamn easy to make a fake snuff film. Because despite what it is that goes wrong, you could easily claim that the flaw contributes to the "realistic feel." This is just another one of his attempts to rationalize his incompetent ability to make a real film. To make real art, you must make meaningful choices for aesthetic reasons. Vogel is a cop-out.

There are so many young aspiring filmmakers trying to make it in the business, making coherent films with plots, using cinematography, and themes. But a bunch of immature kids rather watch this garbage. It's neither realistic nor new. This leads me to the second positive thing that came from my purchase of AU. This movie gave me, as well as others,  the motivation to make a REAL film. If kids are forking over their parents' hard earned money to buy this, I feel it is my duty to give them something worth watching. I've always wanted to make films, but never was the motivation as strong as it is now. The fact that there are sequels to this video makes it clear and obvious that Vogel is out to exploit the suckers who fell for the gimmicks of the first one.  Once he drains the gimmick for all it's worth, he will have obtained the noteriety and financial backing to  hire real filmmakers to make a movie for him to slap his name onto (The Redsin Tower). My final words on August Underground?

August Underground is nothing more than a kid's desperate attempt for attention and notoriety, and guess what, he got it. Artificial snuff may seem "cool" at first, but watching an hour-long video of it is a lot like watching an hour long video of a guy juggling chainsaws. It's cool at first, but after the first 10 minutes, you fall asleep. How long can you sit through the same thing over and over again?  Anyone who falls victim to the whole "realistic portrayal" or "it pushes the envelope" bullshit is a sucker. This is not a movie, it's a long video clip. Keep giving Fred and his friends (Toe Tag Pictures) money, and he'll promise to keep giving you the garbage you beg for.